So forgive me, dear reader, if my critique of this color took some extra time. Being a Red philosopher in real life requires a lot more thought than the impulsive stereotype given to us by the M:TG Color Pie philosophy. But after giving things a good look, I can conclude that just like Green got pieces for a new Stompy deck, the Reds of Dragons of Tarkir present us with the opportunity to get a fast Tokens deck in Standard Pauper.
¡Prepárate! Apunta! ¡Fuego! The conditions for Cabel's Critique of a New Release: Dragons of Tarkir - Red Commons for Standard Pauper are correct. ¡Comencemos!
RED
A hefty five power for four mana is scary, but a single point of toughness is vulnerable. Very red! And the Megamorph ability seems relatively inexpensive compared to the others. If I'm playing a Red Deck and I've not yet hit my fourth land drop, I can still purchase a 6/2 in two installments and get a classic ping out of it, killing one of my opponent's dorks or hitting his dome. This is a great Red Deck Wins pick!
Cabel's Critique: WIN
Dragon Fodder
Yes! If Lightning Bolt is my favorite red instant of all time from when I first started playing the game in 1995, then Dragon Fodder has become the red sorcery nearest and dearest to me thanks to the role its played in my Pauper career. This was great as half the Fodder-into-Giantbaiting combo during Lorwyn-Alara Standard Pauper; in the next season, this was run alongside Zendikar's Bushwhacker, then as a piece in an Eldrazi Tokens deck. And after Alara rotated, I couldn't help but try my hand at a Modern Pauper deck or try to pack this into my Classic Goblins build against the advice of more experienced players.
Since Fodder left us, we've had a functional reprint in the form of Krenko's Command. However, Standard Pauper just didn't have the metagame for a tokens build at that time. Presently, this is very tempting to include in the creatureless Izzet Control Tokens list. Dragon Fodder can provide excellent aggressive openers or just buy some time with a pair of ugly red chumps. Truthfully, this reprint alone has me excited about Dragons of Tarkir. Awesome spell is awesome, now and forever.
Cabel's Critique: WIN
Again, I'm all over creatures with power equal to their mana cost. In red, this gets even higher marks. But there are plenty of these around, giving Berserker stiff competition. I'm also reminded of M15's Generator Servant, which excited many as ramp engine. Yet as the MPDC & SPDC seasons proceeded, we didn't see the little guy enabling any fast red decks. I'm betting this Berserker suffers the same fate. Also, red is supposed to get fast mana according to the color pie...but only temporarily. This is a permanent. And a Berserker? Making spells less expensive is a very Shamanistic thing to do. Oops! The flavor team forget to mix things properly again. They shook things up when they should have stirred, a pet peeve for this Magical mixologist.
Cabel's Critique: FAIL
Impact Tremors
Standard Pauper actually sees its share of tokens decks, believe it or not. I hope to chronicle these in a future post. For our purposes today, I look back again to Alara-Zendikar Standard, in which two key pieces allowed Red Green Tokens to be a strong contender. Hissing Iguanar allowed the Tokens player to get a point of direct damage for each creature that died, and tiny tokens die very often. Additionally, Raid Bombardment sealed the deal to let us get another point of damage as soon as a token was declared as an attacker with no need to actually connect with the opponent.
Compared to both of these, Impact Tremors isn't only every bit as good...it's an incredible improvement! So much so that I'm almost pinching myself here wondering if this is not a misprint. This will have enormous impact on Standard Pauper if I have anything to do with it (I'll even muse that this has Classic applications that will have aftershocks in Goblins like nothing since Bushwhacker himself!) Instead of having to wait to set up my tokens first and then cast my three mana enabler, this baby drops a full turn earlier. And I get the damage immediately, when Red wants it.
This screams build-around-me and this token-loving, red-blooded Pauper is going to do just that because I just can't help myself. And you better show this card some love because after this drops, you're going to want to be packing some enchantment hate in your sideboard. This card will certainly live up to it's name.
Cabel's Critique: WIN
After those three winners, we come to my first failure in Dragons of Tarkir. I might easily be wrong about this card this time thanks to the presence of Heroic and Prowess in the format, but simply reprinting this card again after first appearing in Morningtide and several core sets where it did not perform well has me skeptical. It's also competing with the established Heroic/Prowess enablers in Standard Pauper and this just doesn't do much by comparison. Precious new design space is wasted here, and that's a shame.
Cabel's Critique: FAIL
Kolaghan AspirantDon't be fooled by the new name. This is a reprint, too. But not a functional one. It's a strictly worse Ashmouth Hound, which would deal its damage whether it was blocked or was the blocking creature. That was a good Red Deck Wins dude back when Innistrad was legal. But in its new Human form, we don't get the damage if we're forced to stand on the defensive. Wizards can't dumb down cards like that without my eye catching it and casting a disdainful glare downwards.
Cabel's Critique: FAIL
Here we have a simple Raging Goblin with a bunch of extra text. Does all that text indicate anything less complex, Mr. New World Order? No. This is another indicator that Mr. Rosewater's little "this is how we make commons, now" conspiracy theory is either inconsistent or nonexistent. Getting back to the card itself, I guess this can even out your aggressive curve if you need a 1/1 haste on turn one or would like a fast 2/2 to swing in along with a three-drop that you essentially give a kicker to, but...I think tokens are going to be a better strategy in Red after Dragons. A wall of text on a Raging Goblin doesn't get a nod from me. Also, the artwork is a knockoff of Swiftboot Boots. Lame.
Cabel's Critique: FAIL
Lose Calm
In addition to token generators, another favorite element of Red was formerly a Blue ability. Grabbing hold of an opponents creature, even temporarily, can be a major game changer. For this reason, I often slip a copy of Act of Treason into my Red Deck sideboards. That card is already available in Standard Pauper. I can even select an M15 or Khans printing to get a little Vorthos in my deck-building. But once we add another mana to the cost, things get a little different. I'm not sure if the psuedo-evasion here is worth it. And "Lose Calm"? Really? Instead of "Lose Control"? That's another obvious card-naming mistake. A pretty big one at that. I can't like it.
Cabel's Critique: FAIL
There's usually something like this in every set. And they always require quite a bit of set-up. When they have prohibitive conditions that provide an exemption for your opponent, the set-up gets even harder. In Standard Pauper, your power decks at the moment are packing plenty of fliers. You're better off constructing your deck with more threats to break through them than relying on this Limited trick.
Cabel's Critique: FAIL
Sabertooth Outrider
A straight up 4/2 for four mana is fine. Give it trample with no conditions and you've got a good candidate for the top of your curve in any Standard Pauper environment. Moving on to his Formidable ability, Outrider gets you halfway there. And to add first strike to trample is an excellent combination of keyword abilities that I can't recall seeing on any card before. A quick search confirms: this is the first time both Trample and First Strike have appeared on the same card! That alone is a huge step forward in common card design. Therefor, we have a winner!
Cabel's Critique: WIN
As a dedicated Pauper, Peasant, and proletarian planeswalker, I'm not too fond of the Planeswalker card-type or the way Wizards is clearly trying to entice players to spend unaffordable sums trying to chase them by naming commons and uncommons after them. In addition, Planeswalker-themed non-rares have proved themselves to be inferior pieces time after time. This is no exception. An instant speed Lava Axe that can hit creatures is nice, but five mana is still a lot. In fact, it's too damn much.
As for the drawback? I guess you can avoid it if you find yourself able to generate ten whole mana and still have your Lightning Shrieker in play...except if you're playing red aggro and reached ten mana, it means you're losing. Besides: Lightning Shrieker is the worst Lava Axe ever printed in the first place! Think about it: would you play a Lava Axe that your opponent can block or "counter" with removal when they're not even playing Blue? No. So you shouldn't play another bad Lava Axe that requires to run an even worse Lava Axe for it to get full value. That makes this, hands down, the worst red card in Dragons of Tarkir.
Cabel's Critique: FAIL!
Stormreach Brawler
If you can't tell yet, my attitude toward Red cards are rather strong. I've been able to make up my mind quickly and solidly up[ until reachin this fellow. I will say a few things about flavor: first, I'm glad Orcs were finally brought back to the racial lexicon in this block. Second, Berserker is the perfect class for this race. Next, 2/3 for 2R is not bad. The ability to Dash him into play for two mana makes for a nice turn two play before dropping him permanently the next land drop. But if you haven't noticed, there are other things I'm much more excited about the second turn after Dragons drops. So I'm not sure if this dude is going to make the cut or end up playing a key role.
Cabel's Critique: PASS
Sprinting WarbruteAs it turns out, I'm as sure about the Ogre as I am about the Orc just discussed. He's a big old beater, for sure, with a power equal to his toughness when hard cast. Dashing him in puts him ahead of the curve, which seems even better. But even though I'm Red at heart and love swinging in for the kill, sometimes you just have to hold back and that "anger" ability (which hasn't been keyworded yet...just saying) can end up being more liability than asset. I'm not sure about this guys ugly mug, either.
Cabel's Critique: SWING
Summit Prowler
And here we have the fifth vanilla 4/3 for 2RR in Magic's history. This time it's a Yeti. It has six lines of flavor text now. You can run this and the fourth vanilla 4/3 for 2RR from Theros block now. That one has eight lines of italics. I don't think I'll be getting more lines outta this abominable functional reprint than that. Boring card is boring. And yet...I have seen Standard Pauper decks in the past running eight 4/3's for 2RR as their big beaters do well in the past. It's possible. Even it ain't that exciting. So despite my snarky dismall of how dull this card is, as a critical judge, I can't fail it.
Cabel's Critique: CHUMP
In a format where Fall of the Hammer exists, there is no reason to play this. Tail Slash is strictly worse on a couple levels. It does almost the same thing but for an extra mana, and three-mana removal is much, much worse than two-mana counterparts. Also, Fall of the Hammer allows you to target any other creature, including one you control if you want to set up some kind of death trigger on your side of the board. So for the extra cost we get fewer options? I don't think so.
Cabel's Critique: FAIL
Tormenting Voice
Here we have another reprint. And boy howdy was that fast! Tormenting Voice first appeared in Khans and I liked it as a splashable update to Wild Guess. So in Khans, it was a win for Standard Pauper. In Dragons, we suffer the fate of Wizards taking only Limited applications into consideration. With their focus on the "innovation" of rotating the first big set out of draft to replace it with the second large card pool, they clearly wanted to provide drafters with some consistency. This does nothing for us who want to construct decks in Rarity-Restricted Casual/Competitive formats. It's a waste of design space. And as far as the artwork is concerned, the original printing had a human who looked quite tormented. This piece featured Ugin looking just as he always looks everywhere else. No dice...okay, fine, I'll be nice...
Cabel's Critique: PITCH
Finally we reach the much anticipated burn spell of the set. And I love it! Direct damage cards are my favorite way to both kill off creatures and finish my opponents. Whenever I get the option to get rid of two creatures and generate card advantage in Red, I'm even happier. And being able to get rid of a dude and direct the extra damage to the opposing planeswalker, I'm as happy as a Red mage can be. You're going to see this in Red decks everywhere until it rotates. Don't listen to anybody who says this is a sideboard card, either. Maindeck this bitch! You'll be glad you did.
Cabel's Critique: WIN
Vandalize
I like this card from a design standpoint. But I stop liking it once Standard Pauper is taken into consideration. Modal spells that give players options are great, but it depends on the modes you are selecting. In this case, land destruction just doesn't do well in the format. In fact, there's almost an unwritten rule that you don't do this because it's such a feel-bad for the other player when facing off against it. Getting a two-for-one is usually great, too, but in the present environment, what artifacts are you planning on vandalizing? Nobody runs banners if their serious competitors. Mana-fixing takes place in lands, not Traveler's Amulets, which would be cracked long before you can cast this pricey spell anyway. The only thing I like about it is the name, which is a perfect pairing with the appropriate flavor text.
Cabel's Critique: SMASH
Volcanic Rush
Speaking of expensive spells, this baby also clocks in at a very high five mana. Volcanic Rush competes with a host of other mass pump finishers currently available for Standard Pauper aggro decks. In Boros alone you can run Selfless Cathar, Trumpet Blast, and Inspired Charge which have proved themselves in the past. New mass pump spells include Rush of Battle, War Flare, and Sanctified Charge. Tacking on trample sure seems nice, but the goal isn't to trample over the opponents blockers: it's to have more dudes on your side of the battlefield breaking through to smash face for the win. So it is with a heavy heart that I have to give this card a negative final verdict for the last critique of red cards in Dragons of Tarkir.
Cabel's Critique: FAIL
I'm looking at the Black cards, next, and looking forward to this new set becoming Standard Legal. As I mentioned in my previous post, Standard Pauper events In Real Life at my Local Game Store begin in less than two weeks and I'm excited to report back on their immenent success. 'Til we meet again, comrades, thanks for reading, good luck & have fun! Peace,
-C
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